What Love Offers

Love offers many things we may not always see . . .

Love Offers

Living, Learning, Light, Luminosity

Time, Truth

Opportunity, Oneness, Openness

Vastness, Versatility, Virtue, Victory

Enlightment, Endurance, Endeavor

. . . the hidden blessings of love.

~ gg

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Raw Write #1

The theme for this quarter’s readings in my sophomore reading strategies class is self-awareness.  Students choose their own independent books while the pieces we study in class to supplement our comprehension mini-lessons (poems, short stories, journal articles and a class novel) all relate to this universal theme.

With PLAN testing, we had a shortened day yesterday and took the opportunity to journal, or raw write.  The invite for the day was to write a self-expressive, free verse poem.  I wrote mine below rather quickly; although, it’s indicative of what I told the students to express – whatever was in their minds at the moment.  It’s darker than what I usually pen, and I don’t like it.  I’ll write a happier piece tomorrow, I’m sure.  But for now, this was the quiet scream in my head.

Unmarked Title

 

Visible invisibility

Loud silence

Clear ambiguity

Full emptiness

Expressive blank stare

Questionable answers

Infinite finiteness

Recurring finale

~ gg

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My Father’s Last Lesson

Like small children, there’s something within us always longing to go home – to return, even briefly, to our parents.  Whether we are 6 or 60, we have that desire.  I am very blessed to be able to go home to my mother on any given day.  I haven’t, however, been able to go home to my father for quite some time.  My life (along with my mother’s and brother’s) changed forever on this April day years ago when, without warning, my beloved father died.  Life changed with the news of the moment during that spring break before Easter Sunday.  I was a freshman in high school and my brother was a 4th grader.  Our dad was away on a business trip in Colorado when we received an unexpected visit from his best friend and colleagues delivering the news no one in the world ever wants to give - our father suffered a major heart attack in the middle of the night and died alone in his hotel room.

 

His death certainly was not characteristic of his life.  He was very much a people person – the devoted husband, the caring father, the gracious host, the silly cousin (as his cousin, Anthony, strongly attests!).  When I recall his voice, I hear his laugh.  He had a way of making everyone around him feel comfortable, and he was known for his fun demeanor and unique sense of humor.  To this day, when I see someone who knew my father well, I consistently hear, “Oh, the stories I have about your father!”   He was quite the practical jokester.  An example ongoing joke between my mom and dad:  they took turns hiding this hideously hairy, riducuously realistic toy mouse from each other and tryed to ‘one-up’ the other into finding the most inconspicuous place that would drive the most reaction.  He knew what it meant to hold on to the little moments in life.  At the same time, he was a man who took great pride in his work while trying not to take himself too seriously.

I have no regrets for lost joys – I replay the good memories, am very grateful for the precious time, and remember the love wholeheartedly.  “The Missing Piece” by Shel Silverstein illustrates a significant life lesson I learned from my father’s death:

“The Missing Piece” by Shel Silverstein

It is a fable about a big wheel, a fabulous wheel, the fastest wheel of all. It outraced every other wheel and took a great deal of joy and pleasure out of doing that. One day it was wheeling along having the greatest time when it hit a bump and lost a piece of itself. Now, with a chunk missing, the wheel went clunking along, struggling to keep up with the other wheels.

The wheel felt extremely sad. It started journeying great distances in search of its missing piece. As the wheel traveled it grew tired and lay down on a field of grass. It saw the white clouds against the blue sky and heard the birds sing. It began to see life’s beauty everywhere.

Some years passed, and finally the wheel found its missing piece. Overjoyed, it made itself whole again and reattached the piece. But something went wrong. The wheel realized that it had actually felt more whole when part of it was missing. The experience of loss had guided the wheel into a new state of awareness and fulfillment. The wheel had learned how to turn loss into life.

I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes I see his eyes.   I know I have a guardian angel always watching over my family, and he will live on beneath everything we do.   He would be extremely proud, for instance, of his first grandchild’s outstanding achievements, and be completely overjoyed over his second granddaughter who was born on his birthday!!!!!!!!

John Mayer wrote in his song, “Daughters:”  ‘Fathers, be good to your daughters.  They will love like you do.‘  I’ve learned that the most important thing every father teaches his daughter to do is to love completely and truly.  My “anything for TC” father certainly taught me that.  I’ve asked myself if I am who I am . . . what I am . . . how I am . . . because my father lived or because my father died.  The answer, I’ve decided, is both!!  My father taught my mother, brother, and me an important lesson right through the end of his life here.  His death forced us to learn how to survive under the most difficult of situations, how to approach life’s unexpected turns, and how to turn loss into life.

In memory of Daddy!!

➔ ➔ ➔ The glue of the family, see my post celebrating my mother’s unbelievable strength that guided us through the difficult time of my father’s death:  My Mom, Still the Coolest Mom Around

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Surprise Santa

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You Don’t Say!

Says is one of those overused words.  The Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use, and 47,156 obsolete words. To this may be added around 9,500 derivative words included as subentries.  With all these words, why do we overuse the general, imprecise ones?

GG note:  Please do no utilize “goes” to replace the verb “says.”

FOR EXAMPLE:  He goes, “I don’t like that anymore.” → I hear this colloquial-type conversation from my high schoolers.   ‘To speak’ is not even a published definition of goes; the closest definition is ‘to utter a sound’ as in The gun goes bang.”  Luckily, I don’t think you’ll have a problem coming up with varied words here.  Enjoy!:

What other imprecise words need replacing?

OVER THREE HUNDRED WAYS TO SAY “SAYS”

A accuses acknowledges acquiesces adds admits admonishes advises affirms agrees alleges allows alludes announces answers apologizes appeases approves argues articulates asks assents asserts assures B babbles bits barks bawls begins begs believes bellows berates beseeches bleats blows up blubbers blurts blusters boasts booms brags breathes breaks in C cackles cajoles calculates calls carols

cautions challenges chants charges chats chatters cheers chides chimes chips in chokes chortles chuckles cites claims coaxes comforts commands comments complains concedes concludes concurs confesses confirms consents consoles contends contests continues contributes coos counters coughs cries criticizes croaks croons cross-examines cures curses cusses D debates decides declaims declares defends demands denies describes

determines dictates discusses drawls drones E echoes elaborates emphasizes entreats enumerates enunciates exaggerates exclaims exhorts explains explodes expostulates extols F falters fears frowns fumes G gags gasps gibbers giggles gloats goads grins groans growls grumbles grunts guesses guffaws gulps gurgles gushes H hastens to say hesitates hints hisses hollers howls

I imitates implies implores informs inquires insinuates insists interjects interposes interprets interrupts interrogates intimidates intones J jeers jests jokes jabbers L laughs lectures laments lies lisps M makes known magnifies maintains marvels mentions mimics moans mocks mourns mumbles murmurs muses mutters N nags nods notes O objects observes offers orders

P pants perceives persists persuades pesters pipes up pleads points ponders pouts praises preaches predicts prevaricates proceeds prods profanes proclaims professes promises prompts proposes protests purrs pursues puts in Q quavers queries questions quibbles quips quotes R rates rails runs on rants raves recalls recites recounts regrets reiterates rejoins remarks remembers reminds remonstrates

renounces repeats replies reports reprehends reprimands requests resolves responds resumes retorts reveals roars rumbles S sings sings out scoffs scolds scorns screams screeches sermonizes shouts shrieks shrills shrugs sighs slurs smiles smolders snaps snarls sneers snickers sniffs snorts sobs soliloquizes sooths specifies spells speaks spurts sputters squawks squeaks squeals stammers starts states storms

stresses struggles stutters submits suggests swears sympathizes T taunts tantalizes tattles teases testifies thinks threatens tells U urges utters V vaunts ventures voices volunteers W wails wants to know warns wavers whispers wonders worries Y yearns yells yelps yowls

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My Mom, Still the Coolest Mom Around

4^th Grade International Cooking Days at school (most creative room mom ever!), watching me roll – and roll – down the hill at Lorado Taft, Crimes of the Heart in college when I cried on stage and could hear her sniffling in the audience almost as loud as me, the birth of my daughter, annual American Girl Place visits when Arianna was little . . . These only comprise a taste of special experiences I have shared with my mother – the one person in my life who is always there when I need a shoulder to cry on, an ear for listening, or a hand of support. I know of no one as selfless as she. My mother helps others before she helps herself, she makes life fun for those near her, and she is someone I want to be like when I grow up.

My mother puts the happiness of those she is close to before the happiness of herself. Throughout my life and my brother’s life, my mother has spent maybe one eighth of the time on herself. The rest is devoted to her family. She is either driving back and forth to my home to pick up my daughter when I have a schedule conflict or on the phone to offer an ear to Dave or taking my grandmother out shopping. When we were little, all of her decisions revolved around our well-being: she chose a job as a waitress so that she could be home with us during the day; she chose to maintain our home after our father died so that our lives would remain nearly the same; she chose to work more hours to fortify the lifestyle she thought we needed to be happy. Her caring doesn’t stop with my brother or me. She was the one who opened up our home to her mother and father when her mother became ill with cancer. (Of course, I was excited that grandma and grandpa were living with us; I didn’t understand the extra stress it placed on my mother’s life.) She was the one who looked after my grandfather who moved a few blocks away after my grandmother passed away. When her sister was dieing of breast cancer, she was the one who took her to and from her doctor appointments. In other words, she was – and is – the one who is there whenever family or friend is in need.

While striving to help others in any way that she can, my mother still manages to make life fun. Our home was always filled with fun toys, loving pets, happy music, and sweet smells. We were the only house on the block to hold a Fun Fair for the neighborhood complete with games and prizes, arts and crafts, and movies. Summers were filled with swimming in the backyard and Mom bringing out lunch on a tray with LHDRUs (ask me what that stands for later!). Christmas was a magical time, transforming our home from a suburban dwelling to Santa’s dreamhouse. Little elves abounded everywhere as everything from the welcome mat to the mantle centerpiece to the pictures on the wall evolved to Christmas décor. To this day, my daughter still finds Christmas Eve at “Gum’s” house as her favorite night of the year. Whenever my brother and I were sick, she would bring us food in bed, move a T.V into our room, and buy us magazines. I take pride in knowing I have a great role model for creating a happy home for my daughter.

For these reasons and more, I want to be like Natalie Theresa when I grow up. As I smooth the cream on my face at night, I can only hope that my skin displays as few wrinkles as hers. As I exercise daily, I can only wish that her washboard abs stay with me. As I force myself to think positive thoughts in tough situations, I can only aspire to be as optimistic as her. Natalie is a woman to admire. She transitioned to a completely new and successful real estate career at age fifty. She bought a new home and took on a new lifestyle at age sixty. She maintains numerous friendships that are thirty years old or older including high school buddies. She is privy to the latest fashions and could easily pass for someone fifteen to twenty years younger. She maintained the reputation among my and my brother’s friends as “the coolest mom around;” or, as some high school friends still remembered at my 20-year reunion – she’s a “hot mom.”

The last time I wrote a letter commemorating how significant my mother is in my life was for her fiftieth birthday. Well did we know then where we would be today. Teaching was only a distant dream, my daughter was barely three, and I had yet to endure the pain of divorce. She helped make that teaching dream turn into a reality by her constant support and care. Right now I can only imagine where I will be ten years from now. But I do know this – whatever current dreams I have, they will be more likely to happen with her constant love and positive encouragement to guide me along the way.

 

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Timing

Timing is everything.

Time is ours to spend but we can’t keep it.

We can’t see time but we can feel it.

We can feel time but we can’t hold on to it.

Time never stops but keeps going and going.

Time can’t be rushed yet it can’t be slowed down.

Once time is lost, it’s gone forever.

Timing is everything.

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Typo Trials

The other day a friend sent me this text: “No crazy h__ it is displaying that”  (input one vowel; yes, that one). Imagine my shock, anger, and disbelief when I read that. After taking a few deep breaths, I replied with a calm yet questioning message. Well, it’s a good thing he was near his phone because he texted his quick apologies, stating what a horrible typo that was. He meant to send, “Not crazy how it is displaying that.” Needless to say, we’re still friends.

Not all typos are corrected so swiftly. In this technological era of continual texting, daily blogging, everyday emailing, and essential computer work, typos abound by thousands a day. People lose their jobs, friends, lovers, and dignity over something as simple as a slip of the finger. An example of one such blunder with detrimental effects is a university’s recent accidental mailing of false acceptance emails. As a mom with a child about to apply to college herself, I can understand the profound anguish those students must have felt when they learned the truth.  The university sent the corrected emails out about an hour later.  Can you imagine? Unfortunately, this was not the first time a university created such confusion . . . and it probably won’t be the last.

Michael Duplessis, an auto mechanic, filed the now infamous lawsuit proclaiming that in April 2005, tattoo artist Sam Hacker inked “Chi-tonw” on his chest where he had asked for “Chi-town” Talk about having to live with that mistake every day!  Interestingly, some humorous Chi-town residents had the “tattoo-o” placed on t-shirts, commemorating the mistake.

A typo can be costly such as a real estate ad that lists “hardware floor” instead of “hardwood floor,” causing the meticulous home buyer to pass up a listing. A typo can hurt credibility such as an organization’s website filled with some misspellings or grammatical errors. We really do associate typos with a company’s reliability. Employers associate an applicant’s credibility in the same way (sounds like a job for GG!).  On the other side of the coin, a typo can be funny such as a congregation’s sign reading: “For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”  No matter what kind of typing faux pas, it is never intended to create the reaction it does.

Next time you type that text, be careful what time you punch in for your child to be home; next time you forward that email, be careful who you are sending that photo to; next time you promote your business online, be careful to proof your promotions. Now if you’ll excuse me, GG has some pertinent proofing to do before posting this blog.

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Living in the Moment

Creativity is maximized when you’re living in the moment.  BREATHE DEEPLY and appreciate the moment.  Living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

A poem I wrote 14 years ago for my mother’s birthday illustrates this message well:

Firsts and Lasts

Life is full of firsts. First step, first word, first day of school, first love, first job . . . the list goes on. We commemorate those firsts and remember them. But what about the lasts in our lives?

Do we remember when was the last time we played with a favorite toy from our childhood? Did we know that on one not so memorable, probably very ordinary day, we would be putting a beloved doll to rest in its box for the very last time?

Sometimes we begin traditions without much planning. We start an activity, like the way it fits our lifestyle, and we continue it for a time. All of a sudden, we wake up and realize the “tradition” is gone. Can we recall which was the last Sunday we dined out weekly for brunch?

What about those traditions we followed for years and years? The Easter brunches, the Christmas Eves, the New Year’s sleep overs. Did we make the last time special? Did we know that it was important to make the last time special?

Life is full of memorable firsts, yet it is just as plentiful of special lasts – only we don’t know it until the lasts have passed. Thus, we must take joy in life’s simple pleasures as well as the main events; we must love one another as if we are all brothers and sisters; we must treat each occasion as if it was a first.

Dedicated to you Mom, inspired from your own words

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