Surprise Santa

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You Don’t Say!

Says is one of those overused words.  The Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use, and 47,156 obsolete words. To this may be added around 9,500 derivative words included as subentries.  With all these words, why do we overuse the general, imprecise ones?

GG note:  Please do no utilize “goes” to replace the verb “says.”

FOR EXAMPLE:  He goes, “I don’t like that anymore.” → I hear this colloquial-type conversation from my high schoolers.   ‘To speak’ is not even a published definition of goes; the closest definition is ‘to utter a sound’ as in The gun goes bang.”  Luckily, I don’t think you’ll have a problem coming up with varied words here.  Enjoy!:

What other imprecise words need replacing?

OVER THREE HUNDRED WAYS TO SAY “SAYS”

A accuses acknowledges acquiesces adds admits admonishes advises affirms agrees alleges allows alludes announces answers apologizes appeases approves argues articulates asks assents asserts assures B babbles bits barks bawls begins begs believes bellows berates beseeches bleats blows up blubbers blurts blusters boasts booms brags breathes breaks in C cackles cajoles calculates calls carols

cautions challenges chants charges chats chatters cheers chides chimes chips in chokes chortles chuckles cites claims coaxes comforts commands comments complains concedes concludes concurs confesses confirms consents consoles contends contests continues contributes coos counters coughs cries criticizes croaks croons cross-examines cures curses cusses D debates decides declaims declares defends demands denies describes

determines dictates discusses drawls drones E echoes elaborates emphasizes entreats enumerates enunciates exaggerates exclaims exhorts explains explodes expostulates extols F falters fears frowns fumes G gags gasps gibbers giggles gloats goads grins groans growls grumbles grunts guesses guffaws gulps gurgles gushes H hastens to say hesitates hints hisses hollers howls

I imitates implies implores informs inquires insinuates insists interjects interposes interprets interrupts interrogates intimidates intones J jeers jests jokes jabbers L laughs lectures laments lies lisps M makes known magnifies maintains marvels mentions mimics moans mocks mourns mumbles murmurs muses mutters N nags nods notes O objects observes offers orders

P pants perceives persists persuades pesters pipes up pleads points ponders pouts praises preaches predicts prevaricates proceeds prods profanes proclaims professes promises prompts proposes protests purrs pursues puts in Q quavers queries questions quibbles quips quotes R rates rails runs on rants raves recalls recites recounts regrets reiterates rejoins remarks remembers reminds remonstrates

renounces repeats replies reports reprehends reprimands requests resolves responds resumes retorts reveals roars rumbles S sings sings out scoffs scolds scorns screams screeches sermonizes shouts shrieks shrills shrugs sighs slurs smiles smolders snaps snarls sneers snickers sniffs snorts sobs soliloquizes sooths specifies spells speaks spurts sputters squawks squeaks squeals stammers starts states storms

stresses struggles stutters submits suggests swears sympathizes T taunts tantalizes tattles teases testifies thinks threatens tells U urges utters V vaunts ventures voices volunteers W wails wants to know warns wavers whispers wonders worries Y yearns yells yelps yowls

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My Mom, Still the Coolest Mom Around

4^th Grade International Cooking Days at school (most creative room mom ever!), watching me roll – and roll – down the hill at Lorado Taft, Crimes of the Heart in college when I cried on stage and could hear her sniffling in the audience almost as loud as me, the birth of my daughter, annual American Girl Place visits when Arianna was little . . . These only comprise a taste of special experiences I have shared with my mother – the one person in my life who is always there when I need a shoulder to cry on, an ear for listening, or a hand of support. I know of no one as selfless as she. My mother helps others before she helps herself, she makes life fun for those near her, and she is someone I want to be like when I grow up.

My mother puts the happiness of those she is close to before the happiness of herself. Throughout my life and my brother’s life, my mother has spent maybe one eighth of the time on herself. The rest is devoted to her family. She is either driving back and forth to my home to pick up my daughter when I have a schedule conflict or on the phone to offer an ear to Dave or taking my grandmother out shopping. When we were little, all of her decisions revolved around our well-being: she chose a job as a waitress so that she could be home with us during the day; she chose to maintain our home after our father died so that our lives would remain nearly the same; she chose to work more hours to fortify the lifestyle she thought we needed to be happy. Her caring doesn’t stop with my brother or me. She was the one who opened up our home to her mother and father when her mother became ill with cancer. (Of course, I was excited that grandma and grandpa were living with us; I didn’t understand the extra stress it placed on my mother’s life.) She was the one who looked after my grandfather who moved a few blocks away after my grandmother passed away. When her sister was dieing of breast cancer, she was the one who took her to and from her doctor appointments. In other words, she was – and is – the one who is there whenever family or friend is in need.

While striving to help others in any way that she can, my mother still manages to make life fun. Our home was always filled with fun toys, loving pets, happy music, and sweet smells. We were the only house on the block to hold a Fun Fair for the neighborhood complete with games and prizes, arts and crafts, and movies. Summers were filled with swimming in the backyard and Mom bringing out lunch on a tray with LHDRUs (ask me what that stands for later!). Christmas was a magical time, transforming our home from a suburban dwelling to Santa’s dreamhouse. Little elves abounded everywhere as everything from the welcome mat to the mantle centerpiece to the pictures on the wall evolved to Christmas décor. To this day, my daughter still finds Christmas Eve at “Gum’s” house as her favorite night of the year. Whenever my brother and I were sick, she would bring us food in bed, move a T.V into our room, and buy us magazines. I take pride in knowing I have a great role model for creating a happy home for my daughter.

For these reasons and more, I want to be like Natalie Theresa when I grow up. As I smooth the cream on my face at night, I can only hope that my skin displays as few wrinkles as hers. As I exercise daily, I can only wish that her washboard abs stay with me. As I force myself to think positive thoughts in tough situations, I can only aspire to be as optimistic as her. Natalie is a woman to admire. She transitioned to a completely new and successful real estate career at age fifty. She bought a new home and took on a new lifestyle at age sixty. She maintains numerous friendships that are thirty years old or older including high school buddies. She is privy to the latest fashions and could easily pass for someone fifteen to twenty years younger. She maintained the reputation among my and my brother’s friends as “the coolest mom around;” or, as some high school friends still remembered at my 20-year reunion – she’s a “hot mom.”

The last time I wrote a letter commemorating how significant my mother is in my life was for her fiftieth birthday. Well did we know then where we would be today. Teaching was only a distant dream, my daughter was barely three, and I had yet to endure the pain of divorce. She helped make that teaching dream turn into a reality by her constant support and care. Right now I can only imagine where I will be ten years from now. But I do know this – whatever current dreams I have, they will be more likely to happen with her constant love and positive encouragement to guide me along the way.

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What’s really in a name?

Can the sounds within our names actually account for our personality traits?!?  Will everyone with the same name behave the same?  Can we predict the way a person will behave based on his name?  Do we unconsciously (and unfairly) prejudge people based on the sounds of their names – before we even meet them?  Will a person’s behavior change if she decides to use her middle name, all of a sudden, rather than her first name?

This stuff fascinates Grading Girl, and I am convinced there is something to this!  These questions are addressed in the book The Secret Universe of Names – The Dynamic Interplay of Names and Destiny by Roy Feinson.   It is a book that remains on my coffee table and guests pick it up again and again.  Think about it . . . sounds affect our mood – a scream makes us stand alert; or, a shhhh soothes us.  We instinctively choose soft sounds when reassuring our friends.  Conversely, we use loud sounds when we want our presence felt.  Similarly, the sounds in names must affect our perceptions – both of ourselves with our own names, and of others with their names.  Parents looking for a name to mirror their ambitious hopes for their daughter might name her Kate, for instance, which connotes decisiveness.  If they named her Mary, one would be more apt to think of a nurturing, motherly figure.

To further illustrate this, Feinson’s book uses the following example – notice how the hard tone of the following words completely disappears when the belligerent B is replaced by the mild-mannered M:

• bellow – mellow
• belted – melted
• break – make
• blow – flow   . . .

You get the idea.  The second set of words evoke a softer response over the hard, direct first set.

Our psychological responses to sounds result in some letter combinations which cause common meaning.  For instance, sneeze, snort, sniffle, snot, snore, snarl, snuff, snicker, snout all pertain to the human nose.  Coincidence?  Feinson says no!  Take a look at this tongue teaser we used to recite backstage getting ready for a college play:  The slippery slope was slathered in a slick slime. . . all the sl words have a “slimey” influence.

It’s no wonder parents spend so much time looking for names.  We humans seem to have an innate response to sounds.  Here’s a group of names that are perceived “masculine:”   Butch, Buck, Duke, Bill, Kurt, Jake, Kirk, Scott, Troy     Notice all contain the hard consonant letters such as B, T, K, D.  Typical names with “adorable” charm include:  Barbie, Missy, Britney, Kristi.  Hmmm, notice the “eee” sounds at the end of each.  As a teacher, I have to admit that when I scan my student roster at the very beginning of the year, I fall victim to name stereotypes before I even meet my students.  If I see Missy on my roster, I might mistakingly predict she’ll be a less serious student; similarily, if I see the name Jake, I might assume he’s a popular student who may be talkative with his friends.  I have to stop myself and erase my assumptions.

The question remains, can the clustering of sounds in our names also account for the clustering of our personality characteristics?  The book says that in 1990, the U.S. Census Bureau helped to create some theories behind this question by releasing names of 63 million Americans (stripping the names of addresses and phone numbers, of course).  They cross-referenced first letters in the (first) names of people in various areas of business, arts, medicine, politics and professional sports.  Many interesting finds came out of this.  For example, based on the population of millionaires in the population, people whose names began with a J were almost three times more likely to become millionaires than names beginning with N.  Of course, for every rule there is an exception.  These are just the averages found from this study – not the case for every individual.  Still, it’s interesting food for thought.

According to the US Census findings, people whose first names begin with the strong pronounced C, D, J, T, K, etc. proved to be highly successful in professional sports.

In politics, letters of leadership were found to be D, J, T, B, P, G, L.

Maybe parents who want their children to grow up to dominate their peer groups should gravitate toward names featuring the power letters . . . D, A, B, J, K, P, etc. . . . Does this mean they should avoid the softer E, F, H, L, M, O, Y?

Those interested in wealth potential may want to choose A, D, E, F, G, L, J, R, W and stay away from B, C, H, K, M, N, O, T, V.

Those who would like to see their children with lots of friends may want to choose C, E, F, G, H, L, M, O, R, S, U, V.

Those who deem charm important may want to choose C, E, L, O, R, S, V, W.

Wow, no wonder there are so many name books out there.  This places a whole new significance on choosing a name for a child.  We may be revealing more about ourselves when giving our names than we think.

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Timing

Timing is everything.

Time is ours to spend but we can’t keep it.

We can’t see time but we can feel it.

We can feel time but we can’t hold on to it.

Time never stops but keeps going and going.

Time can’t be rushed yet it can’t be slowed down.

Once time is lost, it’s gone forever.

Timing is everything.

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Typo Trials

The other day a friend sent me this text: “No crazy h__ it is displaying that”  (input one vowel; yes, that one). Imagine my shock, anger, and disbelief when I read that. After taking a few deep breaths, I replied with a calm yet questioning message. Well, it’s a good thing he was near his phone because he texted his quick apologies, stating what a horrible typo that was. He meant to send, “Not crazy how it is displaying that.” Needless to say, we’re still friends.

Not all typos are corrected so swiftly. In this technological era of continual texting, daily blogging, everyday emailing, and essential computer work, typos abound by thousands a day. People lose their jobs, friends, lovers, and dignity over something as simple as a slip of the finger. An example of one such blunder with detrimental effects is a university’s recent accidental mailing of false acceptance emails. As a mom with a child about to apply to college herself, I can understand the profound anguish those students must have felt when they learned the truth.  The university sent the corrected emails out about an hour later.  Can you imagine? Unfortunately, this was not the first time a university created such confusion . . . and it probably won’t be the last.

Michael Duplessis, an auto mechanic, filed the now infamous lawsuit proclaiming that in April 2005, tattoo artist Sam Hacker inked “Chi-tonw” on his chest where he had asked for “Chi-town” Talk about having to live with that mistake every day!  Interestingly, some humorous Chi-town residents had the “tattoo-o” placed on t-shirts, commemorating the mistake.

A typo can be costly such as a real estate ad that lists “hardware floor” instead of “hardwood floor,” causing the meticulous home buyer to pass up a listing. A typo can hurt credibility such as an organization’s website filled with some misspellings or grammatical errors. We really do associate typos with a company’s reliability. Employers associate an applicant’s credibility in the same way (sounds like a job for GG!).  On the other side of the coin, a typo can be funny such as a congregation’s sign reading: “For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”  No matter what kind of typing faux pas, it is never intended to create the reaction it does.

Next time you type that text, be careful what time you punch in for your child to be home; next time you forward that email, be careful who you are sending that photo to; next time you promote your business online, be careful to proof your promotions. Now if you’ll excuse me, GG has some pertinent proofing to do before posting this blog.

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Living in the Moment

Creativity is maximized when you’re living in the moment.  BREATHE DEEPLY and appreciate the moment.  Living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

A poem I wrote 14 years ago for my mother’s birthday illustrates this message well:

Firsts and Lasts

Life is full of firsts. First step, first word, first day of school, first love, first job . . . the list goes on. We commemorate those firsts and remember them. But what about the lasts in our lives?

Do we remember when was the last time we played with a favorite toy from our childhood? Did we know that on one not so memorable, probably very ordinary day, we would be putting a beloved doll to rest in its box for the very last time?

Sometimes we begin traditions without much planning. We start an activity, like the way it fits our lifestyle, and we continue it for a time. All of a sudden, we wake up and realize the “tradition” is gone. Can we recall which was the last Sunday we dined out weekly for brunch?

What about those traditions we followed for years and years? The Easter brunches, the Christmas Eves, the New Year’s sleep overs. Did we make the last time special? Did we know that it was important to make the last time special?

Life is full of memorable firsts, yet it is just as plentiful of special lasts – only we don’t know it until the lasts have passed. Thus, we must take joy in life’s simple pleasures as well as the main events; we must love one another as if we are all brothers and sisters; we must treat each occasion as if it was a first.

Dedicated to you Mom, inspired from your own words

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